starting over

            FRIDAY 12/31/21 2:55PM– so now I’m at the grocery store waiting for Dianne to finish shopping we went to the “little" doggie thrift shop, we dropped off some food at a food bank, and I went to Best Buy and picked up my new Alexa alarm clock/whatever.              I don’t know how much longer I can “write” this particular entry; I’m running out of power in the phone. Of course I have no idea how long Dianne is going to be; she calls it a medium sized shopping trip… We’ll see about that. 4:12PM--we're home, finally...thank you Universe...Idon't  EVEN know when we're gonna set up the Echo . I'm guessing sometime tomorrow...allegedly it takes about 15 minutes; I suspect it'll take longer than that...   4:40PM--for a few minutes the laptop kinda went wacko...all of a sudden I had a program I didn't want. I think maybe possibly I might have perhaps corrected that situation.At least I hope so.    ...

        WEDNESDAY 12/29/21 5:09PM--I worked in the instant/temporary Music lab...I think maybe it might be possible, perhaps, that I can run the ME-70 thru the amp...tomorrow I'm hopefully gonna write down settings...I'll  bring two stomp boxes to use as back-up...And I should try to make a checklist to possibly guarantee that everything is hooked properly...I wanna do some further testing tomorrow, but I think I'll have to start at mid-morning, leaving time enough to attempt to go to Dulles airport to pick Dianne up.             I guess it's funny--I put plenty of energy into setting up the test (and I hope to do more tomorrow) but I'm not even in a band...And I don't yet know when/if I'm gonna audition for the Bandits...As for open mics, I'll bring the two stomp boxes...Actually, that's probably what I'll do for any auditions I may get...and Bandits rehearsals...          9:32PM--my guitar playing skills...

                              SUNDAY 12/26/21 10:30AM--Somewhere, if she's still living, a certain DLH is celebrating her 67th birthday...It's been about FIFTY (50) years since I last saw her, but I think about her often enough. While it's not totally outta the question, I seriously doubt that she thinks of me--at all. I try to imagine what she would look like; I'm thinking Gloria Steinem, but who knows? She might look like Loretta Swit (not so great IMO, fully aware of what I look like) for all I know.This is one of those times when I really REALLY need to try to BE HERE NOW. But I love to reminisce, no matter how painful a memeory might be...                 1:30PM--Well, Dianne is probably on the way to Florida by now. I decided to have a grilled boloney sandwich for lunch...when I noticed a lot of the melted cheese had endeed up on my shirt and jeans. I just washed the...

                    FRIDAY 12/24/21 6:50PM--I'm not the one who's leaving, but I'M getting excited.But even a small townhouse can seem  pretty big when you're alone with just a dog and a cat for company. But I'll be fine, probably..I dunno if I'll be able to sleep in Dianne's bed, but that don't matter too much--I have trouble sleeping in my own bed.    7:23PM--I think tomorrow will be like most Christmases I've lived through--nowhere to go, nothing "good" on television...there are some grocery stores open for a few hours, then--nothin' until Sunday morning... 9:53PM--I find myself wishing it was Monday...and yet I'm gonna get lonely at some point...I just dunno when. SATURDAY 12/25/21 9:48AM--I'm re-washing the jeans I washed yesterday because I forgot to put 'em in the dryer. Hopefully I won't forget about them again. As for what else is going on today, "nothing" would be my first guess. So I remain anxiou...

           THURSDAY 12/23/21 8:25AM--heatd from Richard, they will be holding auditions in January...they are "going forward" as a trio. I assume they're gonna play Hershey's that way.            As for Dianne, still no word on the second test...She still has a headache, but at least we know what's NOT causing that...As for me, I feel the same as always...It may be a gamble, but I really wanna go out tonight. 11:26AM--still no word on the 2nd test...*I* feel OK. 11:46AM--the clean dishes have been put away, the dirty stuff is in the washer...My dirty laundry is halfway to the basement...I have to bring the stomp boxes upstairs from the basement anyway...and even though I just got back from the pharmacy, I'll have to go again later.  3:52PM--turns out I don't have to go to the pharmacy...I DO have to go to the Bank and get some cash...Dunno what I'm gonna do about dinner, I'm thinking Wendy's. Hoping to leave at 6PM. All I...

:::            TUESDAY 12/21/21 4PM--this could wreck BOTH of our Plans--Dianne allegedly has symptoms of COVID. I think she has to take TWO tests. I belive she'll get the results in time before cancelling or proceding with her trip to Florida. Hopefully, the Universe will be good to both of us.Cheese and crackers, AGAIN with the WAITING--AARGH!!! Oh well, Another chance to live one day at a time, so I will try to do that. 7:37PM--MORE waiting--If Dianne passes her tests, all will be as it should be... 9:11PM- it feels like my life and hers are on hold until we find out whether or not she has Covid…I think neither of us will (or even should) leave the house until we find out what’s what…staying in the house is OK when it’s my idea, but being forced into it? I don’t like that at all. 11:01PM--Dianne initially said MY going out should NOT be a problem, but she instantly reconsidered...And I'm always saying "Better to be safe than sorry."  So I'm putting...

                          MONDAY 12/20/21 11:40AM--went to Litz, they put the string on, while I waited and  watched...I think I MIGHT be able to do it myself next time...delivered Dianne's stuff to the Post Office...of course there was a long line, but because I waited,  I got it done.Went to Giant, forgot to buy the chips to replace Dianne's chips...Maybe I'll get them later.   1:38PM --naptime is in about an hour, and won't last much longer than that...Getting excited about Dietle's, whether SueEl goes with me or not... 4:21PM --didn't get any sleep, too nervous/excited about the open mic...Picking up SueEl at 6:30...we should be there by 7PM.. 5:23PM --.I got a surprise--the Blues Jr. cover fits the Champion XL50 perfectly. And I found the tuner that Stoney gave me--in the BASS case.Should be able to leave when I want to... 11:25PM --just got  in from Dietle's...my best/favorite visit so far...the ...

           SATURDAY 12/18/21 11AM--So Dianne are hanging out together today but I plan to be alone tomorrow. Like I've said, I feel nearly invisible whenever we hang out with members of her family...Besides which I've got important paperwork to look for... 12:41PM -We’re at a craft fair, a big one…there MIGHT be something to drink here, but something *I* would like to eat? I haven’t found it yet…I’m glad there’s a bathroom nearby…we might be home by three o’clock or so… 5:49PM --I was in bed by about 3:30, slept/rested for about 45 minutes, more or less...I got up, compiled a second volume of Guitarless recordings. That oughta be enough, at least for awhile.Maybe I'll create the CDs on Sunday. I guess I shoud make sure that the BR-1180 is still working, because the plan is to play the CDs thru it, and play guitar along with it...I should try to get into practicing whether I'm auditioning for anybody or not. 10:54PM --I'm starting to get excited about doin...

             FRIDAY 12/17/21 9:30AM--So I have (for now) a new lightweight amp in the basement. It has a bunch of effects built into it, but I don't yet care. The "gizmo" should work well with it; the online research  indicates that it will. I need to find out ASAP; I can return it if I want to--by next Thursday. I therefore MUST go to Dietle's on Monday, SueEl or not.       You'd think it wouldn't matter to Dianne, but it does. Hiding it from her is juvenile, but for now that's what I'm doing. I don't have any idea when I'll have the chance to check it out thoroughly...hopefully she'll go do stuff tomorrow; I can check it out then. Maybe I can't put it thru its' paces while she's working upstairs, but what I CAN do is hook everything up today, so it can be ready whenever I'm ready.     On December the 3rd, the Bandits posted that they were looking for a guitarist; I swear I just saw, on Richard's FB page that they are (...

                      THURSDAY 12/16/21 I did something really spontaneous today; I went to Victor Litz and bought a new guitar amp and traded in my bass amp…I think the guitar amp is fine for an open mic-unless you’re trying to compete with a half a dozen other guitar players wailing away at the same time; so I got out; I don’t know if I’m gonna play again tonight or not; can’t wait to get to Dietle’s  on Monday, THAT’S an open mic…I should’ve stayed home…I hope to have the amp figured out sometime tomorrow…SueEl is leaving soon…I would like to leave, but I can’t go anywhere because my stuff is onstage-for the next two hours…I’m trapped…                        At least all this mess has made me (until now) forget about the Car…I ordered a side order of mac&cheese…I dunno what happened to it; so I saved a few bucks, nothing wrong with that…UPDATE-got it…8:28PM...

            WEDNESDAY  12/15/21 9:47PM--There are procedures and paperwork involved in giving someone a car. Dianne says she has taken care of all that...I guess I'm getting excited,  antsy, and impatient.I feel as though I have a lot to do tomorrow before going to Hershey's...like deciding what guitar I'm gonna take (Butterscotch OR the acoustic) and I'm even considering bringing my  Bass amp, mostly for its' portability.I hope to do some kind of sound check tomorrow; I really wanna do that if at all possible...       I'm having some trouble thinking about anything but The Car. *I* think that's to be expected.I also think I'm doing a good job of restraining myself.            Until about three o'clock this afternoon  I was worried about donating MY car. That's when Dianne found the Title.      I guess I shouldn't expect medicine to do ALL the work--I have to tell myself to be c...

            TUESDAY 12/14/21 4:42PM--I pulled into the gas station gave the guy a $20 bill...had a brief discussion about windshield wipers, got back in my car and started for home...and then I remembered the MAIN reason I went to the gas station in the first place...the Cashier remembered me--I was just there maybe FIVE minutes earlier...it's only gonna get worse, right?          I think SueEl and I might be going to Hershey's Thursday...The Plan is to sing a gender-switched version of I GOT YOU BABE...after my virtual visit with Habibatu Sesay (about my meds) tomorrow, I should have all day free to practice Cher's part...it doesn't feel like it,  7:49PM--it's quite possible that my mode of transportation will change radically over the weekend...just the thought of it scares the heck outta me...and leaves me nearly speechless...and Saturday is three long days away... 9:03PM--finding the title is VERY important...but if we mus...

          SUNDAY 11/12/21 9:48AM--Dianne strongly recrecommends total silence with regard to offereing ANY kind of criticism of  or opinion of or advice to the Bandits...she says that's how I've gotten into trouble in the past...surely there is a way to be diplomatic about it... but I DO think (theoretically) I should wait awhile...I can do that... 10:19AM--breakfast is on it's way from iHOP...I will likely skip Lunch... 10:44AM--I dunno what, if anything, we're doing today...I think we should work on the deck...we csn tear down the shelves, stack the pieces neatly on the deck and I alone could work on it tomorrow and Tuesday... 3:55PM--went to Giant, got soda (Diet Creme Soda) cereal, bologna and a box of mac and cheese... 4:23PM--I'm so focused on the Bandits, I almost forgot about Dietle's tomorrow night...I think SueEl and I are gonna try again... 5:20PM--neither Brian or Richard have mentioned last night's gig on FB, as far as I can see...makes me wond...

        SATURDAY 12/11/21 12:44PM-- I hope to be in bed by about two o'clock and out by four-thirty...hoping to arrive at Lahinch by six-thirty or so...and back home around Midnight... 2PM--Dianne is off to have her fun; no idea when she'll be back...I hope to be in bed by 2:35 or so...and out the door 'round 6PM, more or less... 4:45PM--ahead of schedule like almost always...planning on leaving for Wendy's at about six...and hopefully leaving Wendy's before Seven... 7 PM – I have yet to come here without getting lost finding the place… And by that I mean when I’m in the shopping center where the place is located; I couldn’t quite get the seat that I wanted but I’m sitting next to it…the band’s set-up is going badly IMO…I would be surprised if they’re invited back…with or without me….  I made a suggestion to Richard about where to aim the speakers; not sure if he heard me…but shortly thereafter, the guy I would theoretically be replacing got on stage and aimed...

           FRIDAY 12/10/21 11:06AM I'm starting to think about the Bandits again...Saturday evening can't come soon enough, if ya ask me...I think there's a video on youTube...now seems to be as good a time as any to watch the whole thing...and of course I can't find it, maybe it was somewhere other than youTube after all...rats...        5:18PM--tried to work on my toe-nails some more...I found some emery sticks...I think a pice of sandpaper will work better...I've been trying to do things I don't normally do--like eating McDs hash browns...they were better than I expected...     Having a relatively rough day IMO...The Gov't Project Dianne has in mind is gonna be a major b*tch...I think we're gonna do it on Sunday...I THINK we have all day... I just put the clean dishes away--that was a minor GP, as is loading the dirty ones... 6:16PM--I couldn't quite make the grilled cheese sandwiches the way I wanted to...so I'll make them...

        TUESDAY 12/7/21 11:50AM--I need to be ready if the Bandits cancel the auditions (because they find somebody) or if MY audition goes poorly...I haven't been thinking about the Bandits nearly as much as I was...I guess I'm trying to balance my manic obseession and fantasies with realities...I know I wouldn't have wanted Brian or Richard to be at Dietle's last night...and I'm glad they weren't... 12:20PM--I think Alvijan is at least one step closer to giving Dianne the car...I'm happy of course, but scared too...                  3:26PM --I knew this morning that the "good day" wouldn't last ALL day, but I hoped it would last until Sundown...as far as self-checkout goes I will try very VERY hard to NOT use it--ever again...at this point I'm almost too tired to even THINK about doing anything else today, except make my dinner...                    9:39PM --dinner went ...

                           MONDAY  128/6/21 8:37PM—I TOTALLY SUCKED… I got cocky…I really didn’t think it would matter WHAT gear I used—IT DOES…and I didn’t know the lyrics to the song I was trying to sing, probably because I had JUST WRITTEN IT… I will likely come back in two weeks to try again, with the same songs, assuming that the open mic will happen…and I felt like I was on the outside looking in again…that's what I get for not warming up... 9:24PM-I’m looking forward to getting up tomorrow and NOT worrying about Health insurance but I might still be bummed about my performance at Dietle's tonight 10:01PM-My bass playing was OK, I didn’t embarrass myself, too much anyway…I played bass behind Su:eEl...I think she and I are going to Hershey's on Thursday...(sigh) I was so jazzed up when I arrived at Dietle's, but not so much when I left...life is like that... TUESDAY 12/7/21 1:54AM--I wanna try out the Xmas ...

             SUNDAY 12/5/21 2:43AM-having a very hard time falling asleep…I’ve taken a bunch of things at this point, hydroxyzine Tylenol some natural plant-based remedy I think that Dianne has… and I’m pretty sure today is going to be a busy day… I think we’re going to Mike and Linda‘s to pick up some more furniture; and I think we’re going to the Unique Thrift Store to donate a piece of her furniture… 9:33AM--I got four hours sleep; I don't think that was enough...I just couldn't turn my Mind off...imagine what I'm gonna be like by Friday...           I'm doing laundry, specifically jeans...I know we're gonna go "do stuff", I just dunno what or when...and I'm already looking forward to going to bed tonight... 5PM--If I had to re-live the past three hours, I think I'd kill myself...actually the past hour or so wasn't so bad, it was a mini-nap...I KNEW taking possession of M&L's furniture/rugs was gonna be a HUGE Gov't Pro...

               SATURDAY 12/4/21 1:22PM--after having some trouble connecting with Bandit Richard, I now have setlists from two different gigs...there's almost nothing to do but wait until sometime in January (practically a whole month) to audition for the Bandits...I'm hoping to go see 'em next Saturday at Lahinch...dunno if I should tell 'em I'm coming or not...let's see if they suggest it... 3PM--I have thirty minutes before we leave for Riderwood...that's thirty minutes to think about what it would be like to be a member of The Rhythm Bandits...I don't know for sure who their drummer or Bass player is...I sent Jeff a message regarding my possible audition, telling him he DIDN'T have to put in the good word for me if he didn't wanna...but if he's NOT the Bass player, I wasted my time sending the e-mail in the first place...       Jeff has been the Bassist, like Eric from the Crimestoppers has been their drummer and Stoney has ...

          FRIDAY 12/3/21 10:11AM--according to what I just saw on Flakebook, the Rhythm Bandits are looking for a guitar player...I believe the Universe is sending me a signal of some sort...I've contacted them expressing the desire to audition for them...and now the needles and pins take over...the band could, after all, say to themselves "Geshen? no way"...I'll wait to hear from them before I scrape the rust off of my fingers --assuming they want to even consider me...the audition is on December the 11th...I can get back in shape by then, I think...     10:31AM--the needles and pins are up and running...I wish I could calm down...it may be days before I hear back from anybody...I wish a could see a song list, but I haven't yet...in other social news, I heard from Lou via text... 11:06AM--found a (partial?) songlist--thirty songs, SIX that I haven't heard of... 11:12AM--getting quite a few responses from various acquaintances re: my state of Mind, etc...

                THURSDAY 12/2/21 10:23AM--I think I'm going to Safeway and Potomac Care Pharmacy at some point today, I just dunno when...I still dunno if I feel like doing anything, much less going to Hershey's...I haven't heard from SueEl yet...but I'm fairly certain that I will... 4:34PM --and I did...it's possible neither of us is going; that is to say I'M not going...I dunno what SHE'S gonna do tonight...she DID send me a voicemail, so I should at least text her back, right? UPDATE--I suggested MAYBE we will go to Dietle's on Monday...in other open mic news The Music Café is closing for good on December the 11th...there MIGHT be one more Thursday open mic, but *I* don't know that for a fact...      In Financial News, I paid off my CapOne credit card this morning and then turned right around this afternoon and used it to pay the MVA to re-register my automobile registration...I guess I could celebrate THAT...*I* didn't have $13...

                  WEDNESDAY 12/1/21 10:30AM-- so far the only good thing to happen to me today is getting the SSA check...but that is a very good thing for sure...and I still had about $70 to start with... 11:30AM--I'm so bored I'm actually considering going to Hershey's tomorrow night, just to break up the monotony...but what about today? 12:17PM--had a "mini-sub" for Lunch; would like to finish off the hot dog rolls before they go bad...alledgedly after December 1st--which is today...I've got three more pair before I can switch back to bread... 1:24PM--I believe I made a CapOne credit card payment...and I believe I have no balance due on THAT card...I also believe I made a $100 payment on my BBVisa card, leaving a balance of about $700--I think...and I think I know what I'm having for Dinner...I might have to go to Potomac Care Pharmacy after mmy nap...I think that's it, but I'm not sure... 5:40PM--about to have my dinner--fettucine alfred...