starting over

                              MONDAY 11/29/21 9:48PM--it has belatedly occurred to me that, from where *I* sit, Dianne seems to be almost as friendless as I am... I'm pretty sure that's my fault...and I'm pretty sure it's my fault that her Life has not turned out the way she probably envisioned it--not even close I bet...her younger sister marrried a DOCTOR and had three kids...she married (and divorced) a worthless schmuck from Glen Burnie...a Musician...and a failure at that...she has absolutely nothing to celebrate...no wonder SHE'S depressed... TUESDAY 11/30/21 10:27AM--as far as I know, I have no plans...I have stuff I should be doing, but I still don't feel like doing ANYTHING--except sleeping...and eating, if only a little...I don't even feel like doodling... 2:44PM--going to CVS and Safeway soon... 3:34PM--and so I did...and I got some cash and gas as well...I THINK the SSA check will be in the Ba...

      FRIDAY  11/26/21 10:32PM--and so, for the third(?) time, I'm starting over...one diary had about 500+ entries, the other had 300+ more or less...not that it ultimately matters, right? One diary is enough IMO...especially since I have no Musical life to write about anymore...            I'm going to bed any minute now, I took two of the green capsules about two hours ago...I think I'm more awake now than I was then--that doesn't make sense...but I'm gonna go to bed anyway, and hope for the best... SATURDAY 11/27/21 10:45AM--I woke up to face Dianne's wrath--over a kitchen knife that I used to do something , I don't even remember what...it's gonna be another long LONG day I guess...we haven't left yet and already I can't wait to get back from Annapolis... 7PM--at 5:00--I went to my room and took a nap...it lasted an hour and a half...I'm about to have my dinner...and I expect to be back in bed by 11PM, if not sooner... 9:03PM--tried...